I'm looking for some inspiration. Sitting in the office of The New Indian Express and biding time until I go out and cover yet another inaugural function, glimpses of the future come unbidden to mind. Like the silk weave of the cocoon that protects me from the real world has become thinner, and the cacophony from outside finally reaches my ears. It feels as if my brain has gone into limbo as portrayed by Christopher Nolan in ‘Inception’, fantastic plans and ideas taking shape and almost immediately being washed away by a relentless tide. There is something I must do, something that seems just out of reach, fleeting glimpses seen at the edge of the imagination.
I'm looking for an idea, something to free the mind and carve a path forward, which finally reveals the big picture. It's almost like life plays out in a huge glass case with someone on the outside watching with amusement as people make choices, create, destroy and survive. For once I wish to peek at my own life from outside the case, see where it's going and what to do. But the very thought is terrifying, for trying to plan out and act on something like the future is futile, Darth Vader will vouch for that.
I realize that all I can do right now is continue on this murky winding path with the hope that everything turns out alright, but one always wishes for reassurance. Like a system restore point in case things don't work out. Someday, under a desolate lamp post on this long road engulfed in the darkness of night, I hope to finally meet that inspiration which seems to tease me from the depths of my consciousness. Until then, like Paulo Coelho points out in one of the few good parts of the otherwise rather pointless
'Brida', we only learn to appreciate and live life after going through the Dark Night of faith.
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